


My Thoughts Took Shape On That Fire Escape

by nosecoffee



Series: Thanks For the Welcome Wagon [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Background Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Breathe, F/M, Friendship, In The Heights Au, M/M, background pining, part 2 of 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 16:59:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7853524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She stared at Eliza for a few long moments, mouth open as if about to say something, eyes unblinking.</p><p>And then she pulled Eliza into her arms and laughed disbelievingly into her hair.</p><p>Two years is an awfully long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Thoughts Took Shape On That Fire Escape

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out!

He was looking at her like she was something foreign, like she didn't belong there. Like he'd walked into the apartment and instead of a couch there was a lion.

She couldn't blame him.

They hadn't spoken in two years.

-

Age Five (2000)

Eliza had never been especially gifted when it came to drawing, she knew that. But she had to say, the whale she'd drawn on the sidewalk was a masterpiece.

"Angie! Come look, come look!" She yelled and her older sister ran over and peered at the drawing.

"Is that an armadillo?" Angelica asked.

"No, dum-dum!" Eliza giggled. "It's a whale. His name is Bert."

"He looks like an armadillo." Angelica stated.

Eliza huffed, crossing her arms and rubbing blue chalk dust off her fingers and onto her t-shirt. "You've never seen an armadillo in your life."

"Yes I have. In books." And Angelica walked away. Eliza huffed again, and sat back down, looking at Bert. Did he really look like an armadillo?

"I think he looks like a whale." Said a voice to her left. Eliza turned and saw Hercules, a boy who usually played with Johnny Laurens. Peggy was sharing her chalk with him, and he was drawing a waterfall on the curb.

"Thanks Hercules. Your waterfall is pretty cool. Looks realistic."

He nodded and looked at it himself. "It's okay I guess. Bert should be in a museum, though. That's how cool he is." Eliza giggled, knowing her cheeks were red.

"You're real nice. Wanna help me draw a pond for Bert?"

Hercules smiled.

-

Age Eight (2003)

Eliza glanced over to Peggy, asleep in her bed. It was 2 am. She shouldn't still be awake, but she couldn't sleep.

She knew papa wouldn't be happy with her sleeplessness, but he didn't control her subconscious. She peeled back the covers as quietly as she could, minding Peggy's breathing.

She didn't wake.

Eliza tiptoed to the window, and unlatched the lock, sliding it up and open. She heard a siren, faint in the distance, and stepped out into the cold grate of the fire escape.

It was like a breath of fresh air was sent into her, and she felt her shoulders droop after being tensed for so long.

The noise of the city surrounded her and she exhaled, finding herself exhausted on a front she hadn't felt leaning against a mountain of pillows.

She couldn't quite see the stars from here, a shame, so Eliza found herself climbing the stairs up the next storey, and the next, until she was on the roof.

The roof was communal, for the whole building, but a lot of the time it was empty. There was a couple of beach chairs grouped together under a zig-zag line of fairy lights.

Eliza took a seat, and leaned back, staring through the glow of the fairy lights.

You couldn't see many of the stars, but if she squinted enough, a few constellations could be discerned.

She wasn't close enough to them.

She'd never be.

She wanted to be.

Eliza reached out, almost grabbing for them, knowing they were far out of her reach.

'One day, Elizabeth,' her father would tell her, 'you'll change the world.'

But how could she when she couldn't sleep?

How could she change the world when she couldn't even see out beyond the fairy lights not a metre above her?

Eliza let her hand come back down, holding it close to her chest. The siren was closer now.

She'd left the window open. Peggy would get cold if she stayed out much longer.

Eliza sighed, and went back to the fire escape, casting one lady glance at the sky.

She went back to bed, knowing sleep would continue to allude her.

-

Age Eleven (2006)

"What ya got?" Hercules asked as Eliza opened her lunchbox.

She gave him a cautious look.

"Apple slices, a PB&J sandwich, muesli bar, juice box." She told him.

He lit up. "I'll trade you some marshmallows for your juice box."

"Marshmallows aren't much." Eliza informed him.

"These ones are. They're special." Hercules pulled out the packet and opened it. "Try one."

Eliza shrugged, and took one, putting it in her mouth.

"They've got sherbet on the inside." Eliza coughed, but continued chewing with wide eyes. She hummed a moment later, and swallowed.

"What the," she said, grinning. Hercules grinned back and offered her the bag again. "Those were great! Sure I'll trade you my juice box!"

She handed it to him and she took and handful of marshmallows.

"No turning back," he warned, jokingly.

"Okay." And she started playing Chubby Bunnies.

-

Age Fourteen (2009)

Eliza didn't look up when Angelica entered the apartment. Didn't look up when she heard the crinkling of plastic film and the window sliding open.

She did look up though when there was the click of a lighter and the sudden smell of smoke, drifting slowly into the room.

Angelica was sitting in the window, a cigarette between her lips. Her face was slowly flushing, and the smoke was drifting out the window.

Eliza stared at her for a long time.

"What the hell are you doing?"  
She didn't need confirmation, she wasn't blind. They were just the first words that reached her tongue.

Angelica gave her a look, attempting to artfully blow the smoke from her mouth. "I'm smoking, duh."

She coughed but continued to smoke the cigarette, and Eliza was entranced, couldn't seem to pull her eyes away from the image.

It was like watching a car crash.

"Angie, dad'll kill you if he finds out you smoked." Eliza murmured to her sister.

"So what?" Angelica replied. "He can't stop me."

"You're underage, you'll get lung cancer, or heart cancer, or-"

"Stop it, Eliza." Angelica snapped. She stood up, sliding her new lighter into the back pocket of her jeans, clutching the packet in her other hand. "I'm gonna go smoke on the roof. I'll be back soon."

She climbed up the fire escape and Eliza marched over to slam the window shut.

She set about making sure the apartment left no trace of smoke, and sat back down at the table.

She'd never forgive herself if Angie contracted some disease.

But it wasn't her choice.

-

Age Seventeen (2012)

Eliza was sitting on the counter, and Alex hated it. Which, if she was honest with herself, was why she was doing it.

She'd bought a fifty-cent lollipop from him, and was swinging her legs, heels bumping against the counter, picking her teeth with the lollipop stick.

"Eliza," Alex said, looking up from his Nokia and his game of Pacman. "You gotta stop kicking the counter. You're gonna dent it and Mrs Ross will have my ass."

"These are flats, Alex, you'll be fine." She brushed some of his rapidly growing hair out of his face, and he moved away. "What's up?"

"Nothing," he grumbled in reply.

"Bullshit. What's wrong?" Eliza twisted so she was sitting cross-legged, facing him.

Alex sighed, "John and Laf broke up and I've been sort of the middleman of their arguments."

"Oh," Eliza murmured, stroking a hand through his hair and pulling his ponytail out. "Well, that actually makes a lot of sense."

"Yeah, that and my cousin is moving into town and he needs to move in with me so I've been trying to get some extra cash to help him settle in."

"What's his name?"

"Philip. I need to pick him up next weekend."

Eliza felt him sigh and put his arms around her waist. "Maybe I can come with you to pick him up."

"I'd like that." His voice was muffled.

"And maybe Laf and John need a break from each other. They can't keep forcing their angst on you."

"Yeah."

He liked it when she touched his hair. It calmed him.

"Okay," Eliza whispered and he released her. She hopped off the counter and handed him back his hair tie. "I need to head home, but I'll see you later."

Alex nodded. "Bye."

Eliza nodded back and headed out of the shop.

-

Age Twenty One (2016)

This was her street.

Or, so she told herself.

If it wasn't, God knew who's it was.

But, everyone on the block knew who she was, had watched her grow up, congratulated her on her admission to Stanford.

Eliza smiled at Mr Washington from the Laundromat. He waved from the doorway where he was propping the door open with his foot, a cigarette between his lips.

She kept walking, and maybe, if she was being honest with herself, she was walking slow so that if her father was at the apartment when she got there, she could take her time.

And who knew? Maybe they'd moved and she didn't know.

She hadn't called.

The bodega's door was shut, but the sign hanging in the window said open so she entered, shouldering it open as both her hands were occupied with suitcases.

Alex had the AC on and the sudden cool air was refreshing. He was standing behind the counter playing some dumb game on his phone. It was nice to see that some things didn't change.

It was nice to see he'd upgraded from the Nokia, too.

Eliza pulled a bar of chocolate from a rack and a bottle of Coke from what looked to be a broken refrigerator. She was proven right a second later when she found the plastic bottle warm.

She placed them on the counter and dug out a ten, her suitcases on the floor beside her feet.

"Seven-fifty." Alex said, and still didn't look up from his phone.

"Keep the change." She replied, handing him the note and taking the chocolate and the Coke.

"Hang on, is that Betsey Schuyler?" Alex turned to look at Philip who'd emerged from the back room. And then turned to look at her.

His jaw dropped. His phone made a "game over" noise as he dropped it on the counter. Eliza counted numerous cracks on the screen already.

"Betsey!" He rushed around the counter and enveloped her in a hug. "I didn't know you were coming home this summer! It's so good to see you again."

"Thanks Alex. Hey, Phil, you're not getting away without a hug." She waved him over and rolled her eyes as the sixteen year-old rolled his eyes and hugged her.

"How's college?" Alex asked. Eliza tried not to wince at the one question she was hoping nobody would ask. Well, one of two.

"Oh you know," standard reply, "lotsa tests, lotsa papers."

He laughed.

Philip pulled away as she uncapped her Coke and took a swig. It was tepid. That was alright.

"Why didn't you call?" Philip asked and Eliza couldn't hold back the wince. Two of two. Well played, boys.

"I got swamped. I think I should just admit that college is hard."

They all laughed at that and the bell on the door rang as someone tall with curly hair walked in.

"Gilbert!" The Frenchman looked up and a grin cracked his face.

"Mon dieu, Eliza, welcome home." He opened his arms for a hug and she rushed to him.

"You're taller." Eliza commented, ruefully.

"It has been two years, ma cherie." Gilbert replied, smugly.

"Yeah, but you're not allowed to be taller than me." She whined.

"I've always been taller than you." He leaned his arm on her head to prove it. Eliza shoved him into a rack of chips.

"Quit bickering and spill; have you heard what Laf did while you were gone?" Philip chirped, moving past them to fix the rack.

Eliza turned her gaze on her friend. "What did you do?"

Instead of answering, Gilbert grinned and lifted his hand to show off a lovely gold band around his ring finger.

She gasped. "No way."

"Yes way, ma cherie. Dearest Adrienne and I eloped last year, just before Christmas."

"I cannot believe that you tied the knot. It's unbelievable."

Gilbert shrugged. "Not really. So, you're only just back in town, oui?"

"Uh-huh." Eliza nodded.

"I take it you haven't seen Hercules yet?"

"Nope. I also haven't seen my family or Laurens so there's that too."

Alex made a noise behind her when she mentioned John. Eliza chose to ignore it and not think too hard about it.

"Well, you'd best head up to the apartment. Margarita will be ecstatic that you're home." Eliza nodded.

"I'll see you all later, then." She waved at them, taking her Coke and chocolate in hand, her suitcases weighing her down, and leaving the cool air of the store.

The apartment building looked unchanged from where she was standing, across the road, apart from a pretty mediocre spray painting of a dandelion growing through a crack in the pavement on the wall next to the entrance.

The salon had had a makeover, and if she shielded her eyes enough, she could see that Laurens was sweeping the floor inside, while chatting to a girl that had foils in her hair.

Eliza would go over and say hi, but she had a feeling that everyone at the bodega was joking about something she didn't get, and she was determined to find out what it was.

So instead, she crossed the street and entered the building she'd grown up in.

They lived in the eighth floor and the elevator had been broken for most of Eliza's life. The fact that it had been fixed surprised her.

Where the hell did they find an elevator repair man around here? And who did it?

Eliza ignored it in favour of the well-worn stairs and walked up them. She was willing to suffer the climb with the extra weight of her belongings.

The door looked the same, painted blue with a brass handle. Maybe there were a few new dents in the wood, but it looked homier that way. She set her suitcases down and knocked, fully prepared for new people to be living there.

Instead she got a very panicked sounding, "COMING! JUST HOLD ON A SEC!" from a familiar voice.  
The door was flung open moments later by a slightly-older-than-she-remembered Peggy.

She stared at Eliza for a few long moments, mouth open as if about to say something, eyes unblinking.

And then she pulled Eliza into her arms and laughed disbelievingly into her hair.

"Two years really took the toll on you, Eliza. You look like shit." She said, pulling back and giving her a once over.

Eliza laughed. "I could say the same to you."

Peggy led her sister in, taking one of her suitcases in hand and shut the door behind her. "And, to be honest, you smell like it. Put your stuff down and take a shower. I'm like, ninety nine percent sure you need it."

"Oh shut up!" She laughed and Peggy laughed too.

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, kudos and comments are loved, I'll try to respond, my Tumblr is @nose-coffee, so come follow me or message me if you like. Hope you enjoyed this and the next part will probably take a while, as it is multichaptered. Thanks!


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